i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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