I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
How naked do you want me to be?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
