I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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