your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
