listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
