evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Success! We fucked roommates!
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