In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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