I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
