I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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