oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
