We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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