yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
