apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I have post one night stand depression
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