Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
