He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
