Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
