She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
