you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
