I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
