I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
