Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
