does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
