Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We talked him into tasing himself.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
