I just pynch a tree in the face
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize