I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize