This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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