careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
