I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I will be naked everywhere
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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