You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
