The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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