my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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