i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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