He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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