There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
