So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
