he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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