Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize
