she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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