your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize