i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize