Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
