I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
