loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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