So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
