I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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