After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
