Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
