when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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