who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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