Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
