i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
