You're my little dorito
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
