So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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