Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
