oh god the rape fog is back!
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
