I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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