i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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